Positively Positive (most of the time)

I recently had a friend tell me I am the most optimistic person they know. I almost laughed out loud when I heard that because, well, I don’t think anyone has ever said that about me before. If you would have told me that I’d have a positive outlook on life even just five years ago, I wouldn’t have ever believed you. The old me made Eeyore from Winnie The Pooh look like a cheery fellow. The glass was always half-empty, everything was always gloom and doom. Now, here I am, bubbly and seeing things through a whole new perspective.

So how did I do it? What made me change? I did. I took the initiative to become a happier person, to enjoy my life more, to give each day my best go.

It started somewhere in my junior year of high school when one of my friends died in a car accident. She was one of the most positive, energetic, charismatic people I have ever met, and no one  had a bad thing to say about her. She will always be remembered as a giving, loving,  happy person, and although her time on earth was shorter than what most of us get, she lived her 16 years to the fullest. I wasn’t a thing like that at the time, and her death made me realize that nothing is guaranteed. In the event of something unforeseen, I  didn’t (and still don’t!) want to be remembered as a bitter, negative person.  So although it’s taken me the better part of a decade to get to where I am now, it was worth the work…..and I can’t imagine it any other way now that I’m here.

In my experience, the key to happiness is making the best of whatever you’ve got at the time. Sometimes you might not have much – whether it’s financially, or physically, or even mentally, but you’ve always got something, which is better than what some people have. For instance, my family  doesn’t have a lot of money, but what we do have, we make the most of. We don’t have lots of fancy things, but the ones we do have, we take care of. We don’t go out and do a lot of costly activities, but we have a blast doing cheap or free ones. Making the best of any situation is definitely a huge step to becoming more positive.

Count life’s blessings rather than life’s shortcomings. If you’re constantly looking at what you don’t have rather than what you do have, you’re setting yourself up for a lifetime of disappointment. Appreciating what you’ve been fortunate enough to receive instead of constantly doing the grass is always greener thing is a much easier, much more constructive way of looking at life.

I know, I know. There are people reading this thinking that it sounds easier than it is. And you’re absolutely right. It is always much easier to say something than to do it, and easier still to not even try. But what good is life if you only half-live it? What fun is it to always be down in the dumps? Bad things happen, yes, and it’s okay to be upset when they do, but not everything that goes wrong is ohmygoodness! the end of the world. Realize that things may not always be as bad as they seem at the height of a situation and try to see it in a new light. When you can’t do that right away, sleep on it – for a night, a week, a month. Eventually, the climax of the negativity will wane and you’ll slowly find it easier to see things from a different angle.

Someone  once told me, “don’t should all over yourself.” All giggles aside, it’s absolutely true! If we all spent our time thinking about the things we should be doing or having or making, we wouldn’t ever get anything else done. Negativity is a vicious cycle, and it creeps up on you when you’re least expecting it. Removing the shoulda, coulda, woulda, and “what ifs” from our lives helps to break that cycle and bring in the positive.

Now I’m not saying that everything is always going to be a cheerful, positive, wonderful experience. I’m not saying that I don’t get upset or stressed, because to say that would be a lie. But when you look at how temporary our lives really are in the big picture, a bad day or month or year is just the turn of a page in our stories.

I really hope that someone who has a had a bad day recently reads this and finds it helpful. I don’t want to be the annoying positive person who never ever has a bad thing to say, but I don’t want to be the old me, either. Realistically speaking, it’s not impossible to live most days with a genuine smile on your face and happiness in your heart.